How to survive, expose and deal with the slime of the web
This site will collect information and resources on how to deal
with stalkers, building an indispensible guide. Your questions,
thoughts and contributions will help - and will always be acknowledged.
At its mildest, a stalker is simply a troll that has attached itself
to an individual. At worst, boring, at best, flattering. Find
out about trolls. But a stalker can be a serious predator, using the
Internet to pursue a real or imagined vendetta, or other perverted agenda.
Risk assessment is an essential first step.
How dangerous
is it?
Start by thinking about who it is; is it someone you have simply upset
on the Internet, someone with whom you've had a relationship? Is it someone
you knew before, or have met in the real world?
Think about where you see it - newsgroups? forums? chat rooms? email?
What does it say? Is it a matter of direct insults? Is it lies and rumors?
Does it reveal information not generally known that you want kept secret?
When - and how often - does it appear?
How is it threatening? Is it simply annoying, or do you fear direct contact,
betrayal or what? Think about the worst it can do ... how bad is that?
Why are you being stalked - is it simply spite and boredom, is it envy
or resentment? Have you done anytghing thast you think may have set it
off?
Once you can answer these questions, you will havce a clearer idea of
what you are dealing with, and how quickly you may need to act.
What To Do - General
Advice
In virtually every case, the first line of defence is to do nothing;
simply treat it as a troll and ignore it - most will go away fairly
quickly. remember, these creatures are a form of troll; if they
fail to get rapid feedback, their inclination is to move on- they
usually have neither the stamina nor the intelligence for a difficult
situation.
But - however mild this stalker appears - always save every message
you receive. A good way to do this is to create a new folder in
your mailbox, and move all mails or copy newsgroup postings to that
folder. I'd advise keeping this folder for at least a year after
the last post, possibly longer. This can be a useful store of evidence,
if later required, and can help in identifying the stalker.
Consider your options. Retaliation will make you feel better,
but can be risky; as it make inspire, provoke or enable the stalker
to strike further. For example, using the stalker's guestbook to
warn them is risky if you have a guestbook that is open to attack.
But if it is reasonably safe, then attack - let the stalker know
that you are not afraid of electrons!
By definition, a stalker is a coward, like all bullies, like all
who attack from behind, or in the dark. Be sure to mention this
in every attack.
Stalkers make it personal - You make it impersonal. Minimise any
private response you make; maximise every public response.
Not invariably, but usually, stalkers are none too bright; as
JR would say, "The Elevator Don't Reach the Top Floor"
- few intelligent people would go down the road to stalksville.
Some, of course, are severely mentally ill. If you suspect that,
then do not engage the stalker in any kind of dialog - just keep
careful records and make appropriate reports.
Be Reasonable - Your attacks should be in response to the stalker's
- and their first line of defense will be to accuse you of stalking
- so don't go over the top. You'll usually be amazed how easy it
is to attack a stalker, but exercise restraint. If they write in
your forum, and it's safe to respond - then write in theirs. But
be honest, brief and to the point - even if you post in every thread.
Keep records of all that you do, as well as what they do - and
consider writing a web diary, or opening a web page to expose them.
They may well have a reputation to lose - if they deserve to lose
it, help them to lose it (example -
The Zeppo).
Share The Laughter - However unnerving a stalker may be, if you
look at them coldly in the light of day, they are pretty ridiculous.
Some are Nothing But Ridiculous (example - Spiro).
Savour that; turn it around, let them - and the world - see how
ridiculous they are. Every time you mock them, you gain, and they
lose. Share The Laughter.
Be consistent - once you have identified their weaknesses (besides
being a loopy, cowardly piece of slime!), use the information against
them, in every response.
Official Warning
This site is a work in progress; the information is offered
in good faith to people who have had, or are having, problems with
an Internet stalker. But much of the information is untested, based
on personal experience, theory and best guess - it is not guaranteed
to help, and may not be appropriate to your own situation. The
intention is to help you think about the issues, and then you must
decide how - if at all - you can use the advice given here. Whatever
choices you make, we wish you Good Luck.
All contributions used on the site will be acknowledged here.
Stalkers - however stupid they seem, they can be dangerous!
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