Forums in general....

[johnthed0g]

I have come to the conclusion that they are pointless unless you want to find out stuff & leave. Anyone who stays is either just looking for someone to pick on, is a social inadequate who needs some sort of ''contact without contact'' or can say things that dare not say in the real world. It seems that unless you are impossibly sickly nice all the time someone will find something to moan about. Admin/Mods on most sites are hopeless & allow some people to say more or less what they like (not obvious abuse but snidey comments), but woe betide anyone who dares to respond as "this makes it worse", even though the offending ''first posts'' have been reported. There are some nice people on forums but they are saintly creatures who have skin like rhinos, sadly outnumbered by the multi ID trolls & stalkers + a new one to me "the Triffid," something that worms it's way in slowly putting down roots until it strikes from within! I have had enough of them now, especially disappointed with stupid members who can't see a troll when it's sitting in front of them, & even side with them if they think you are being nasty to them (poor things are good at pretending to be so hurt) & as I said inept Mods/admin who either over react or do nothing. I suppose nothing will change but if experienced forum posters were given a bit of say maybe just maybe, the act could be cleaned up.

[Flayme]

In general, you are probably right.

Most forums are a waste of space.

It's the other 10% that matter.

I've always argued that the way to forum happiness is to shop around; read first without joining in, and if it doesn't work out, leave.

There's plenty more forums, on virtually every topic (or a blog or whatever).

And what's wrong with that? If you met some guys in a bar, and after a short time, you realised you didn't like their company, you'd either stop talking with them - or find a new bar. And probably wouldn't think twice; we all know that with bars you shop around until you find one that makes you feel comfortable. If, three years later, it changes management - or just changes for the worst - you move on. That's life.

The web is really no different. There's no law says you have to like everybody, no law that says they have to like you.

But with several billion websites, chances are there's somewhere you can feel right at home. And if there isn't ... there's always bars

[johnthed0g]

Well if you wish to be involved in a certain subject opportunities are limited, same people too = same stalkers = same trolls (they have different names though!).

[Flayme]

I'm sure there's niches where that's true - though you'd be surprised what's out there (Google is your friend).

But if it was me, and every forum I looked in in my niche was crap, then yes - walk away. It just ain't worth it.

When you want info, search for it; when you want to speak your mind, do it on your own blog (set up in seconds), or your own website.

But there's really no point letting these slugs get under your skin. They just ain't worth it, are they?

All I'd say is take a really hard look around; you only need one well moderated group, and you may live happily ever after!

[johnthed0g]

Yes, trouble is if you keep the same name they find you, & as there are more of them than you people tend to believe them& admin tend to want a quiet life!

[johnthed0g]

Good moderation in my opinion is one that sees a post that is goading, sarcastic(hurtful, not ironic -amusing) in the first instance & acts when such a post is made & jumps on the poster who is trying to start something rather than just punishing the target, who will eventually reply unless he is completely immune or even dead! Moderators must realise that to some people going on forums to chat is their whole life, for whatever reason is none of anyone else's business, but when these heartless gangs ruin this for people it is a shame, & shame also on those inept admin staff who allow it because they just follow the mob.

[Flayme]

I don't think there's any one 'perfect' model for a moderator; a lot depends on the subject mater and the membership - a Knitting forum, for example, would probably have tighter moderation than one discussing video games.

The point is that you are comfortable with the rules and the way they are enforced. If you are not, then you ain't gonna be happy. Simples!

If you are concerned about being followed / stalked, then it's only common sense to change your ID when you find a new place.

In fact, you'd be crazy not to, wouldn't you? - Or am I missing something?

[johnthed0g]

Well I am not crazy but I do value my identity, I am who I am & it's always a sign of something suspicious when people keep appearing under new ID's, something the trolls & stalkers do. I do see & agree that by keeping the same ID it does attract these creatures but I would rather not bother than hide. I think that the mods on these sites should protect people, especially like the last site when I actually TOLD them what was likely to happen, it did happen, I reported the offending posts & vile PM's, admin did nothing leaving me to either ignore them & them think they had won & others think what they were saying was true or reply in a restrained manner. What happens then is the gang all hit the report button! Way I look at it is if the admin of a site want me to post they will help, if not then they either ban me of I leave, up to them, I like posting on sites that have subjects that interest me but I don't need it.

[Flayme]

I do see & agree that by keeping the same ID it does attract these creatures but I would rather not bother than hide.

But you can't have it both ways. You DO bother, and you don't hide. So long as you use one ID, they'll find you instantly, and participation in any forum will be impossible - What you say about moderators is right too - but see it from their point of view; you pull trouble in with you, simply by being there. Most moderators would remove ALL the new members involved in the squabbling, as it would simply not be possible to sort out who's right and who's wrong. It isn't enough to say 'I'm joining your forum and hell follows behind me' - who wants that in their forum?!

Inpractical terms you have a straight choice; change you ID and join forums, with a chance of a long stay; join as you are with zero chance.

depends what you want out of life; but when the consequences depend on a simple Google search, I know what I'd do.

Discretion, as they say, is the better part of valour. The way I see it, standing up in front of 2000 enemy troops waving a flag isn't brave, it's downright stupid. There's better ways of winning the war, and flag waving can always wait. But that's just me; my view is no more right than yours is.

[johnthed0g]

Quite right of course, but I would rather be me than pretend to be someone else, that would also give them more ammo, they accuse me of having multiple ID's as it is (which in itself is ironic as they find me BECAUSE of my screen name!!), so I just post where I post, & if they follow & admin takes their side/the easy option & I get kicked off well so be it. This one group has started on one site, when I was removed from there they followed to another, got me removed from there, I started on another & when they started I stopped, & so on.... but they are like a flock of birds abandoning one field for another & from what I see they don't go back to sites in general, so it is obvious to me anyway why they do it. I find this more curious than upsetting, but I can't help thinking how cruel it could be if they picked on someone who was depending on forums for all social contact, then I doubt they consider that....maybe they do?

[Flayme]

I wouldn't credit them with that much intelligence. When trolls flock, they are no different to sheep; they take the easy option, currently, that's you; they can find you, and you rise to the bait.

If you fell off the radar, they'd probably pick on someone else; and if there was no obvious candidate, they'd probably split up next time they get bounced off a forum.

I think you might usefully 'get in the mind set' of moderators; most simply want a quiet life. If they spot trouble, they just as likely evict all as none, but few will discriminate, and very, very few care 'who started it' (why would they?).

Sadly, but understandably, your warnings of hell to come will never help; they don't know you, they have no way of knowing if you are really a victim - or merely the leader of the flock, about to disrupt their forum!

Even here, where I am fully aware of the scenario you describe, my view - indeed, my rule - is that I'll take all members on their merits - I would never ban someone 'said to be' a troll; I don't think that's fair. I ban on merit; so a careful troll could survive here for a while, while a previously good member who lost their cool at a careful troll would have to go!

My rules are clear, and they apply equally to all; no-one is a troll to me, until they act like one, here, in my forums!

Which is exactly I why I always preach 'don't feed the trolls' - not only does it encourage them (never a good idea!), it means that the troll-feeder may leave before the troll does.

The point of all this, is that for a moderator, no member is bigger than the forum, no member is automatically right, and rules must be applied equally (or the forum dies). It doesn't take a terribly intelligent troll to learn this; ultimately, their nature will come out - because that's who they are - but some are quite capable of being smarmy toe rags while they set out to rile the regulars. A very old trick.

So don't fall for it

[johnthed0g]

The point of all this, is that for a moderator, no member is bigger than the forum, no member is automatically right, and rules must be applied equally (or the forum dies). It doesn't take a terribly intelligent troll to learn this; ultimately, their nature will come out - because that's who they are - but some are quite capable of being smarmy toe rags while they set out to rile the regulars. A very old trick.
Very true indeed!! Exactly what they do, then some regulars, usually naive ones side with them against the nasty man who exposes them(me). Do you know if moderators/admin on forums that have a common subject actually contact each other or pool information?

[Flayme]

I expect it varies a lot with the niche; one area of interest for me, they all loathe each other, and would never ever admit to reading each others forums, let alone join in - but in another area, they seem quite pally, even encouraging some specialisation "so and so knows more about A but we tend to get the discussion on B"

I know several forums where they knew I was coming!

[johnthed0g]

Why I ask is I have been banished from a couple of Cruise forums for no apparent reason (to me anyway) & I wondered if they collaborate. Odddly (again to me) they don't ban people who appear under different names but ban mre because I do....I suppose they have no way of knowing, I just know them.

[Flayme]

It's quite possible, but no way to know for sure.

[johnthed0g]

Don't you just LOVE IT when they get caught out!! There is someone who has pretended to be nice, weasled her? way into people's good books, invented an exotic career & lifestyle, alleged to have been on fancy holidays (the core subject of the site), Complained bitterly about how badly she? is treated on occasions, threatened to sue over things said as they "affected her professional life'' (invented), it goes on.....BUT she just posted something & got her identities mixed up It was quickly deleted, but some people saw it & copied it. Most of my problems come from this person & her group of cronies that are convinced I am evil for opposing her...I now feel totally vindicated & happy about things, a public apology should now be forthcoming from all those who doubted my theories ...but it won't though will it?

[Flayme]

Don't you just LOVE IT when they get caught out!! ...I now feel totally vindicated & happy about things, a public apology should now be forthcoming from all those who doubted my theories ...but it won't though will it?

It's a joy when they catch themselves out like that; congrats.

I wouldn't hold out for an apology, but you might find some opposition shuts up, and some who wavered are now supportive ... let that be enough!