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A Guide to Flaming

flame ~ n. insulting criticism or remark meant to incite anger

Flayme.com | Home | Confession | Definitions | FormFlame | Twelve Commandments | Causes | Profiling


The Form Flame

This DIY flame letter has appeared many times on the web. Feel free to cut, paste and send it. But do not expect people to be impressed.

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 General insultsSpecific insultsVenting

Dear:

[ ] Nerd   
[ ] Lamer
[ ] Geek
[ ] Freak
[ ] Loser
[ ] Me-too-er
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Spammer
[ ] AOLer
[ ] WebTVer
[ ] Newbie
[ ] Clueless Twit

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You posted a self promotion spam
[ ] You posted a "test" in a newsgroup other than alt.test
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You crossposted without very good reason
[ ] You started a troll thread
[ ] You posted flamebait
[ ] YOU POSTED ALL IN CAPS
[ ] you posted lwr case txt cos u fink its gr8. We Disagree.

Actual

[ ] You posted an "everyone is against me / my race / my religion / my country" message
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your signature / alias / avatar sucks
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You responded to a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You tried to blame others for your stupidity

Personal

[ ] you assumed moral or intellectual superiority
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] You just annoy me.

Silly

To Atone, You Must:
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test
[ ] Read the FAQ / Rules / Guidelines
Actual

[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Print your home phone number in your adverts
[ ] Slam your fingers in a desk drawer repeatedly
[ ] Verify gravity by jumping from the nearest bridge

Personal

[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Up the dose of your medication

Silly



In Closing, I'd Just Like to Say:
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Learn to post or sod off
Actual

[ ] Get a life
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Take your crap somewhere else
[ ] I pity your dog

Personal

[ ] Do us all a favor and crawl into some industrial machinery
[ ] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet
[ ] All of the above

Silly

The form flame is as old as the hills - this is just one version; all are similar, but some are much longer - none are particularly funny, useful or original.



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10 January 2017    Copyright Andrew Heenan       Privacy

Guide to flaming